Tuesday. Up and out early today. Had to rush the poor waitress to get our breakfast out in time for the bus ride to Halong bay. Had to compete with some damned frenchies for her attention, but we managed to get out on time.
We were kind enough to leave the hotel a few kilos of dirty underwear to launder for us while we swan off to the junk. Would probably be cheaper just to buy new ones.
Another fascinating tour through the city and countryside. Here's a few of the highlights.
Honda has the flashiest showroom in town. They're obviously making a motza selling scooters. It sits nestled between derelict buildings and slums.There's no rhyme or reason to building placement here. You see a modern LG showroom sitting between a dodgy cafe and a shop selling sellotape. Only sellotape. Lots of different sizes and colours, probably flavours, but that's all it sells. And there's two or three people manning the store; I can only guess that's in case of a sudden rush on 50m rolls of 2“ semi-transparent strawberry flavour.
We were treated to the full rush hour experience of downtown hanoi. It's impossible to comprehend how it all works, but somehow it does. Scooters shoot in all directions at once in and out of the cars. And they can all tell the difference between an I'm here toot and an I'm coming through get out of my way honk. Sitting in the front seat of the bus is both terrifying and fascinating. Never again will I feel guilty about lane splitting in rush hour. These people would split lane splitters. And the totally baffling thing is that we've never seen any accidents. Not so much as a scratched door panel. Sure, a couple of shed loads, but they just stop in the middle of the road and reload. Possibly using sellotape to fix it on. My favourite are the glaziers. Two sheets of glass between the driver and passenger.
Heading out though the suburbs and into the countryside delivers a whole new set of weirdness. Elaborately walled compounds completely empty. Ten acres of carefully walled hardcore. With a single scooter sitting in the corner, no doubt belonging to a security guard.
10,000 scooters parked under sun shades outside the Canon factory of Vietnam and one water buffalo chained to the fence.
Twenty kms down the highway after nothing but endless paddy fields,you'll find half a dozen houses with a store selling beautifully hand crafted wooden furniture. Nextdoor is a coffin maker, then a small paddy field, then a grocers, then a welders. The welder is welding together a metal table on the pavement. No uv mask. No gloves. Safety shorts and teeshirt. And a natty face mask. Face masks are very common because the smog is so bad. It's a shame they won't stop you going blind, but hey it's a good start down the road to health and safety.
Another few kms and you'll find acres of unfinished buildings. Vast concrete factories empty and unfinished. Enterprising farmers wall off sections possibly with sellotape and old laundry bags, to store things or live in.
Another few kms and there's a guy standing at the side of the highway wearing a suit and tie and carrying a briefcase. What's so odd about that? Well he's surrounded by km after km of paddy fields. Not a building or vehicle in sight. Was it a bus stop? Had he been dumped by a taxi driver? Was it his job to be there? Who knows.
Maybe he was a mate of the guy in a suit standing on the edge of a railway bridge staring into the choked river stream below. For no apparent reason either. I don't believe he could have thrown himself to death in the three feet of mud from that height.
Or maybe he was visiting relatives in one of the numerous cemeteries dotted about the paddies. There's a strange thing. What do you do with the only bit of high ground in the middle of your food producing area? Why, bury dead aunt Agnes of course. All good fertiliser I guess.
Aunt Agnes spent her whole life moving mud around in those paddies, she may as well become one with the paddy. Luke.
Buddha factories. Who'd have thought something like that existed? I guess I never really considered where all the stone buddhas came from before, but now I know.
After a good hour's drive we were deposited for a 25 minute toilet stop at what must be one of the biggest purposefully constructed tourist traps I've ever seen.
Kyra buckled for the sake of the poor handicapped craftsmen (supposedly).
We escaped quite lightly really, but I'd have killed for a cheaper version of that massive gong. It would have made an awesome front door bell, but I couldn't justify 5 mil for that.
Back on the road, Ruby was quite taken with the local bus line called duc phuc. She managed to get away with several fucked ducks before we had to shut her up.
Finally we reached Halong bay. Halong is very different. It reminds me of Cancun in mexico. It only exists to cater for the tourist dollar (in this case also american, which everything is priced in). And here your dollar appears to be worth about 1/3 of what it's worth in Hanoi. Still half the price of brisbane so we can't really complain.
Said goodbye to our backpacks which are supposed to end up on our boat. Much to our surprise they made it in one piece.
We had a pre junk drink just to screw a few more dollars from us. The girls laughed at us getting a beer with only one dose of alcohol, then ended up with two long glasses of $6 coke instead of a long island iced tea. To be fair I think it had been introduced to some alcohol, but they certainly weren't going steady yet.
Christopher had a panic attack when he thought his tooth had come out.This'll be a challenge for the tooth fairy if it comes out.
The junk turned out to be pretty ritzy. Excellent food for lunch and after a few beers and cocktails we were told of the 400 step climb to the top of a lookout. Well the beer must have carried me to the top because my legs were bitching like there was no tomorrow.
We then split up with the girls and kids going kyaking whilst ron and I went on a photo frenzy to a floating village. I scored my best shot of the trip so far.
Finally drinks on the top deck before a huge excellent dinner and an early night-apparently sunrise is to die for so we'll be up at dawn for some more kodak moments.
We were kind enough to leave the hotel a few kilos of dirty underwear to launder for us while we swan off to the junk. Would probably be cheaper just to buy new ones.
Another fascinating tour through the city and countryside. Here's a few of the highlights.
Honda has the flashiest showroom in town. They're obviously making a motza selling scooters. It sits nestled between derelict buildings and slums.There's no rhyme or reason to building placement here. You see a modern LG showroom sitting between a dodgy cafe and a shop selling sellotape. Only sellotape. Lots of different sizes and colours, probably flavours, but that's all it sells. And there's two or three people manning the store; I can only guess that's in case of a sudden rush on 50m rolls of 2“ semi-transparent strawberry flavour.
We were treated to the full rush hour experience of downtown hanoi. It's impossible to comprehend how it all works, but somehow it does. Scooters shoot in all directions at once in and out of the cars. And they can all tell the difference between an I'm here toot and an I'm coming through get out of my way honk. Sitting in the front seat of the bus is both terrifying and fascinating. Never again will I feel guilty about lane splitting in rush hour. These people would split lane splitters. And the totally baffling thing is that we've never seen any accidents. Not so much as a scratched door panel. Sure, a couple of shed loads, but they just stop in the middle of the road and reload. Possibly using sellotape to fix it on. My favourite are the glaziers. Two sheets of glass between the driver and passenger.
Heading out though the suburbs and into the countryside delivers a whole new set of weirdness. Elaborately walled compounds completely empty. Ten acres of carefully walled hardcore. With a single scooter sitting in the corner, no doubt belonging to a security guard.
10,000 scooters parked under sun shades outside the Canon factory of Vietnam and one water buffalo chained to the fence.
Twenty kms down the highway after nothing but endless paddy fields,you'll find half a dozen houses with a store selling beautifully hand crafted wooden furniture. Nextdoor is a coffin maker, then a small paddy field, then a grocers, then a welders. The welder is welding together a metal table on the pavement. No uv mask. No gloves. Safety shorts and teeshirt. And a natty face mask. Face masks are very common because the smog is so bad. It's a shame they won't stop you going blind, but hey it's a good start down the road to health and safety.
Another few kms and you'll find acres of unfinished buildings. Vast concrete factories empty and unfinished. Enterprising farmers wall off sections possibly with sellotape and old laundry bags, to store things or live in.
Another few kms and there's a guy standing at the side of the highway wearing a suit and tie and carrying a briefcase. What's so odd about that? Well he's surrounded by km after km of paddy fields. Not a building or vehicle in sight. Was it a bus stop? Had he been dumped by a taxi driver? Was it his job to be there? Who knows.
Maybe he was a mate of the guy in a suit standing on the edge of a railway bridge staring into the choked river stream below. For no apparent reason either. I don't believe he could have thrown himself to death in the three feet of mud from that height.
Or maybe he was visiting relatives in one of the numerous cemeteries dotted about the paddies. There's a strange thing. What do you do with the only bit of high ground in the middle of your food producing area? Why, bury dead aunt Agnes of course. All good fertiliser I guess.
Aunt Agnes spent her whole life moving mud around in those paddies, she may as well become one with the paddy. Luke.
Buddha factories. Who'd have thought something like that existed? I guess I never really considered where all the stone buddhas came from before, but now I know.
After a good hour's drive we were deposited for a 25 minute toilet stop at what must be one of the biggest purposefully constructed tourist traps I've ever seen.
Kyra buckled for the sake of the poor handicapped craftsmen (supposedly).
We escaped quite lightly really, but I'd have killed for a cheaper version of that massive gong. It would have made an awesome front door bell, but I couldn't justify 5 mil for that.
Back on the road, Ruby was quite taken with the local bus line called duc phuc. She managed to get away with several fucked ducks before we had to shut her up.
Finally we reached Halong bay. Halong is very different. It reminds me of Cancun in mexico. It only exists to cater for the tourist dollar (in this case also american, which everything is priced in). And here your dollar appears to be worth about 1/3 of what it's worth in Hanoi. Still half the price of brisbane so we can't really complain.
Said goodbye to our backpacks which are supposed to end up on our boat. Much to our surprise they made it in one piece.
We had a pre junk drink just to screw a few more dollars from us. The girls laughed at us getting a beer with only one dose of alcohol, then ended up with two long glasses of $6 coke instead of a long island iced tea. To be fair I think it had been introduced to some alcohol, but they certainly weren't going steady yet.
Christopher had a panic attack when he thought his tooth had come out.This'll be a challenge for the tooth fairy if it comes out.
The junk turned out to be pretty ritzy. Excellent food for lunch and after a few beers and cocktails we were told of the 400 step climb to the top of a lookout. Well the beer must have carried me to the top because my legs were bitching like there was no tomorrow.
We then split up with the girls and kids going kyaking whilst ron and I went on a photo frenzy to a floating village. I scored my best shot of the trip so far.
Finally drinks on the top deck before a huge excellent dinner and an early night-apparently sunrise is to die for so we'll be up at dawn for some more kodak moments.
Great stuff.. those poor ducks. lol
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photos, Reece! And.... I'm dying at all your descriptions of your trip - it's hysterical! Keep it up!
ReplyDelete